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Depending on
how you look at it, the Ford Crown Victoria and Mercury Grand Marquis (and the
more-expensive Lincoln Town Car) can be considered the oldest vehicles in
production. Despite a facelift for 2006, a suspension and styling modification
in 2003, a partial redesign in 1999, and another in 1992. One could accurately
call the current vehicles seven (still geriatric by automotive standards),
fourteen, or, going back to the date of the first Ford full-size sedans on the
“Panther” platform, twenty-seven. Thus, these current vehicles present a
flashback to the days of V8-powered, rear-wheel-drive, land yachts, with their twin bench
seats, huge trunks, and soft ride and handling. But as other cars have changed
around them, developments have been made in interior space efficiency that
gives many smaller vehicles more interior space than these cars, powertrain
efficiency that has given dozens V6 cars better performance than their V8s,
and safety features that outweigh their sheer size, while still in some cases
undercutting them in price. In short, the Crown Victoria and Grand Marquis
accurately replicate the popular cars of the 1970s, but the standards of
excellence have risen around them. The Grand Marquis comes out above the Crown
Victoria here because of some powertrain and suspension differences between
them, but neither is recommended for standard consumer use.
The Grand
Marquis delivers the sort of ride quality that one would expect from it, very
soft and absorbent but almost entirely without control of pitch, float, and
wander. The Crown Victoria LX “Sport” model reviewed here (a comparable
version of the Grand Marquis is also available, and vice versa) is a
surprising departure, with an unexpectedly jittery ride on smooth pavement and
poorly-absorbed road imperfections. Handling also meets the low expectations
for the Grand Marquis, it feels as soft and clumsy as its ride. The Crown
Victoria has less body roll, but still feels clumsy. Neither car, at least,
ever feels dangerous during changes of direction, only highly uncomfortable
with such action. Both cars have accurate, though rather numb and slow
steering. The Grand Marquis’s V8 comes with fewer horsepower than many family
sedans’ V6s, and with its additional mass to carry and its unwilling 4-speed
automatic commanding it, it does not impress with its acceleration. The Crown
Victoria here has an additional fifteen horsepower, which represents some
improvement. Both engines are generally quiet at cruising speeds, but rather
noisy and harsh under acceleration. Wind noise is also prominent on the
highway, though the optional factory-laminated side windows could help that
issue. Gas mileage is as bad as one would expect from a V8-powered 4,100-lb
sedan, though it does not decrease with the extra-horsepower engine.
Inside,
occupants are greeted by the same interior that was unveiled for the 1992
vehicle, with only minor changes. The Grand Marquis has the traditional bench
seat with a column shifter; the “sport” Crown Victoria has bucket seats and a
console shifter. Neither front seat design has what one might call “shape,”
essentially coming off as large, soft blobs of foam. The bucket seats have the
slightest hint of lateral support, and the center console limits the distance
that occupants can slide in cornering. The bench seat doesn’t even have that
much. Even children wouldn’t be comfortable in the front bench’s center
position, and when there they block access to the climate controls. The seat
is at least high enough, and very roomy. The rear is not as large as one might
expect considering the car’s exterior size, and many shoes will not fit in the
irregularly-shaped space below the front seats, but it is suitably
comfortable, though also too soft and slippery. The lack of a true cushion
shape offers more comfort to a center-position passenger than most cars,
though they would find a particularly high center hump occupying their leg
space and a hard fold-down armrest forming their seatback. There are no rear
head restraints. Throughout the 
interior, most plastics look and feel cheap, and some trim pieces fit together
poorly. The gauges ought to be larger, but they are clear enough and have good
contrast. The vehicle’s width leaves the centered controls as a stretch both
from the driver and front passenger seat, and the climate controls are too
low, and directly behind the Crown Victoria’s console shifter. The instruments
are at least clearly marked. The Crown Victoria here includes steering
wheel-mounted radio and climate controls, but they are still too low to be
comfortably used despite a recent improvement. Drivers have available
power-adjustable pedals, which help them sit more comfortably, but the
steering wheel does not offer a telescoping function and is too close.
Visibility is good, but the car’s sizeable front and rear overhangs require
extra attention in tight quarters. Entry/exit is easy enough, but the large
doors have weak checks and are prone to bounce back if swung hard even on
level ground. The trunk was until recently the largest in any current vehicle
(it has since been unseated by the Ford Five Hundred/Mercury Montego, which is
almost a foot shorter), but it is oddly shaped and extends too far from the
opening for items placed all the way back to be easily reached without leaning
inside, from where it is only too easy to slam your head into the trunklid. The optional full-size
spare tire simply sits back there as well, eating up space.
The cars did
very well in crash testing. The similar Lincoln Town Car was rated Good in its
IIHS offset crash test, though their head restraints were merely Marginal, the
third-lowest of the four ratings. It also earned five stars for both the
driver and for the front passenger in the NHTSA frontal crash test, and five
stars for both the driver and for the rear passenger in the NHTSA side crash
test with the optional side airbags, the highest available score.
The Crown
Victoria LX Sport reviewed here came in at $29,451, the Grand Marquis LS
Premium at $28,404. The extra cost of the Crown Victoria buys almost
exclusively the upgrades to the powertrain and the modifications to the
suspension, no major extra features. Both lack such features as curtain-style
side airbags, stability control, and satellite radio, but do have rarer items
like power-adjustable pedals, and the Grand Marquis’s Ford-exclusive keypad
entry system.
The Grand
Marquis outranks the Crown Victoria here based on the theory that anyone who has
narrowed down a buying decision to these two cars is probably looking for a
comfortable ride, a lower price, and more features more than a bit more power
and diminished body roll. But overall, while these cars are reasonably
comfortable and fairly inexpensive, and did well in crash testing, they
are certainly not alone with those benefits. Factor in the flaws of age, such
as the somewhat anemic yet gas-guzzling V8s, the lack of space efficiency, the
lack of modern safety features, the poor seat shape, and the mediocre interior
quality and ergonomics, and those run-of-the-mill strong points seem less
impressive. The same qualities, coupled with a soft ride, can be easily found
in better overall packages within the class, even for less money. Look there
before returning to these nostalgia boats.
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